Honesty

Faith is paramount for health. And Faith is the basis for discovering Truth. But increasing one’s faith in life can be a daunting task. It can appear difficult to work on Faith. However, Truth, or honesty, which springs from Faith can be worked on and actively developed easily. And as honesty grows, and Truth becomes established in your life, then Faith grows. From a practical standpoint we can say honesty then is the principal moral issue of our lives.

What is the effect of lying? Simply stated, one cannot recognize truth while one is lying. What you offer to the world is what you receive. If you lie, you cannot hear your Inner Voice. In the same way acting while fearing the future precludes one from choosing a correct action, lying precludes one from being able to see and understand what is correct at that moment.

Lack of trust underlies the desire to lie. Trust in life allows one to see the effects of one’s thoughts. Without trust the creative effect of the thought is present, but its connection to our own requesting is not seen. We become complicit in our own delusion when we choose to distrust. This delusion is a form of lying to ourselves. First comes distrust, then comes lying.

If I take someone’s pulse while they are lying, the pulse changes significantly. The pulse indicates the person begins to vacillate between abstract and concrete perceptions, methodically and rythmically. This pulse is similar to, but not identical to, the confusion pulse, where there is an uneven, irregular vacillation between concrete thinking processes and abstract thinking processes.

‘I’m not sure what to do.’ ‘I don’t know what I really want.’ Statements like these indicate you have been lying. Perhaps it was to yourself, perhaps to others. Maybe you were overly tactful to the point of misleading someone. When you lie, you create doubt in yourself.

The untruthfulness I am referring to here is more than just saying something not wholly true. Full honesty means all your thoughts, all your words, and all your deeds are consistent with one another. It means no two thoughts contradict one another, no two actions are inconsistent, and all your words are in agreement. It means to live your life fully expressing yourself in complete harmony with yourself. Practically, if you live like that, every word that comes out of your mouth is a full and complete representation of everything you are thinking and feeling at that moment.

For most of us there is a difference between who we are, or at least how we see ourselves, that is our internal world, and how we live our lives, our external world. In extreme circumstances we can find ourselves living a life that is far, far from what we envisioned for ourselves. Have you ever had to ask yourself, ‘How in the world did I get here?’ You got there by lying. The words we use are the bridge between our inner and outer worlds. If your words don’t accurately reflect what you are thinking and feeling, how then can your outer world form in such a manner that it suits who you really are?

If you have a moment of doubt, know that you have been untruthful. Don’t think you can clear up your doubt until you start telling the truth, and living in a manner that is true to yourself. It can’t happen. At those moments ask yourself, ‘What is true about this person, about this situation?’ Or, ask, ‘How best may I express what is true now?’

What we are concerned with here, is the actual effect lying has on the person doing the lying. I’m not looking at the external effect, just the internal effect.

The following is a good exercise, but very challenging:

Over the next few days, after having read this, monitor yourself and notice how often what you speak is not a full and accurate representation of what you are thinking and feeling. When you answer a question, does your answer really convey everything that is going on inside you? If it doesn’t, you are lying. If it doesn’t, you are sowing seeds of doubt and confusion in yourself. Let’s call this a lie of ommission.

Notice how often what you speak is not wholly accurate. You are late for a meeting and when you arrive you say, ‘Oh, I’m sorry. Traffic was terrible.’ It might be true traffic was terrible, but you were late because you chatted on the phone with a friend well past the point you should have. You are lying. We could say this is a lie of obfuscation.

A friend has invited you to go somewhere. As the date approaches you wish you had not agreed to go. On the day of the event you call your friend and say, ‘I’m sorry, I really can’t make it.’ And then you add, ‘Billy has a school project due tomorrow that he just told me about. I really should stay home and help him with it.’ Yes, Billy has a school project, but he didn’t just tell you about it and anyway, that’s Billy’s problem. But you don’t want to say the truth, ‘I haven’t been having a good time with you lately, and I’m not really not up to spending the evening with you.’

These are three types of lies. The non-expression of all you are thinking and feeling, fuzzy little weasel lies, so you can pretend you haven’t done anything wrong, and lies of integrity. There are more types of lies than this, by the way, but I am mentioning these three because these, in particular, cause problems and these are the types of lies many people choose not to consider as lies.

Each of these lies creates an unhealthy effect in your body, and brings to you an event not of your liking.

After you have spent a few days determining how often you lie, begin to consciously choose to speak ‘the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth’.
Note each time you won’t or don’t, or feel you can’t. Day by day push the boundaries of speaking the truth. Speak it when it seems you can’t. Speak it even when you are afraid. Please don’t delude yourself into thinking anything other than the whole truth, with no misleading statements added to it, is anything but a lie.

The last type of lie we will deal with is the underpinnings of the other lies. It is a lie to ourselves. Let’s call it a lie of delusion. The main way we do it is we take scant facts and fill in a full story in order to judge someone else. Your spouse comes home from work and is a little distracted. Obviously, he hates you! Or, your husband is pushed around by his Mother. Obviously, he is a ‘Momma’s boy’, and is now worthy of your disrespect.

Does he hate you? Is he pushed around by his Mother? Is he a ‘Momma’s boy’? Once you declare those things to be true, he certainly will appear to you to be that. But are those things true? Possibly, he doesn’t deal well with his Mother. It might be no one in the world deals well with his Mother. It could have nothing to do with being pushed around. He just might not yet have figured out a healthy way to deal with her. Of course, that means he isn’t a ‘Momma’s boy’ and that means you shouldn’t disrespect him. But that means your whole story is blown, and you will have to review how you respond to him.

Taking a fact, or facts, in this case your husband doesn’t deal well with his Mother, and extrapolating them into definitive statements is the most dangerous of all lies. They underscore our false judgments, and trade the real foundations of our lives for ones made of sand.

This last type of lie deserves its own book. It is how we create the illusions we see so ‘clearly’. There is little we can actually know, and what we can know is entirely about ourselves. Almost nothing of anyone else can we know as clearly as we think we can. What we can know, we are confused about. What we can’t know, we feel we know very well. This is how we create an illusion instead of a real life.

It is a bit harsh to confront this in yourself, and I am deliberately bludgeoning you with the word, ‘lie’, but I am doing this for a reason. There is a real world out there, and it is beautiful and full and complete, but we don’t see it. Largely we don’t because we lie.